The Great White Woman-Black Man Debate...another examination

There are always values (things people want to experience) at stake when humans get into conflict, whether in theory (such as a debate or discussion) or in practice (such as a fight or war).

The values at stake in the Black Man-White Woman conflict, for me, are the following:
1. Kinaesthesia (of the man) or physical intelligence
2. Passive sensory impact (the impact of the man’s physical attributes over which he has little or limited control, on me)
3. Cultural compatibility (of the man with me, such as his use of books, deodorant, filing systems, underwear, newspapers, internet, in daily life)

It is clear to me that no matter what people may say or feel about the nature of dating or mating, the relative importance placed on values associated with them (dating and mating), such as the three I stated above, are the things that will keep the couple together, or eventually break them apart.

It is definitely hurtful to a young Black woman with those three values high on her list, who has been raised on not only Cinderella and Snow White, but just about all the other love stories you can think of, to think that she won’t get a Black Man. It is profoundly hurtful.

My problem with those who say that this hurt is unnecessary is not that they cannot conceptualize it; that they cannot help. What I resent is that they villainize the woman who feels it. They say that she is foolish to be disappointed by so little, that to prioritize a man’s dancing ability, among other things, is unreasonable; they say that to put premium on a good-looking man with “jock” athletic qualities is shallow.

For your information, O ignorant ones, a girl who wants a man with dance (which incidentally requires both spatial and emotional intelligence) or other physical ability, and who is easy on her eyes is not a weirdo, psycho, or shallow to look for a mate who is likely to be able to physically and intelligently protect her and her offspring, and who can pass on good genes (i.e. genes for increased desirability to future suitors or partners) to that offspring. She is looking for exactly what she should, for the survival of the fittest.

Her naysayers never bother to wonder what could happen to the human race if it did not breed according to the best genes and physical strengths possible, especially when technology is a baby compared with Mother Nature in terms of years existing, and at any time may die in her arms, given the dangerous power-lust and madness world leaders have displayed throughout history, and continue to display, as Michael Moore of Farenheit 9/11 and other films has shown.

That being said, it is definitely and profoundly frightening to a young woman who:
1) identifies with the ethnic label “Black”
2) has those three values high on her list

to be consistently bombarded with images of Black Alpha-males with non-Black females.

The first characteristic is her problem. She should, in theory, identify as human first, and Black afterwards, if at all. When she doesn’t, she unnecessarily limits her potential mates into in-groups and out-groups.

The second characteristic is a real, human, raceless problem: the problem of acquiring a sexual/familial experience satisfying to herself. As you know humans have two main operating systems: nature and nurture. Nature is what programs us to choose mates with more symmetry and other fertility symbols: nature is concerned with straight reproduction of the biological fittest. Nurture is what programs us to choose mates who prefer the same things we do; reproduction of the perceived cultural fittest.

A man who is more physically skilful is (generally) more likely to be observant about physical capacities, including hers, for sexual pleasure, and enemies’, for self-defense during a fight. Therefore this is the type of man who may be best able to fulfil her two Nature-driven needs.

Now, when it comes to culture, it’s just a sad fact of life that a Black Man generally tends to inherit what is comparatively (to other ethnicities) the highest degree of kinaesthesia through his cultural background, as well as other sensually appealing traits such as taking pride in dress (“pimpin’” or “cuttin’ it” or “lookin’ cris’”), signature cologne, and athletic ability. And the cultural agenda backs the biological agenda greatly in this case. That’s all.

In a world full of assholes, deadbeats, and players, or perverse combinations of the above, some of us women feel that if you at least get a good gene donor or a good dancer, you’re 1/3 of the way in the genetic/evolutionary ‘black’ rather than ‘red’. That’s why it hurts when you don’t even think you’re going to get your 1/3, because a White woman always has the one you see who has access to it.

The problem is our biology and our socialization, which tells us we are nothing unless we have a spouse and children. We have to learn the meaning of a life beyond biological programming and cultural socialization for reproduction. We have to learn to give ourselves meaning in spite of childlessness or singlehood. If we can do that, then our prospects for happiness won't seem quite so limited.